"I'm Here To Help" is a video that was uploaded on the 28th of May 2017.

Content Edit

"I'm Here To Help" begins very quickly, with a green lizard emerging from the bottom of the screen in front of a brightly coloured background. They begin to introduce themselves and what they do.

"Do you ever wake up in the morning and feel so depressed you feel you can't get out of bed?"
"I don't."
"But don't worry, I'm here to help."
"I'm a reptilian creature from a far away dimension, who feels virtually no emotions."
"And it's because I feel no emotion that I have decided to become a therapist, and dedicate my life to helping you feel better."
"...I can't wait to help you feel better."
There is then a comedic scene where the Reptilian Therapist appears to be dancing to music as coloured lights flash overhead.

After this, the scene shifts to an external view of a blue house (This house is not The House). We can hear a mother calling to her son Timothy, reminding him to brush his teeth and saying that "I want you both in bed by seven thirty" implying she has two children.

The Reptilian Therapist appears beside the house, as tall as the house is. The Reptilian Therapist says hello to which there is only screaming. He asks them why they feel that way to which there is only more screaming.

The Reptilian Therapist advises the people in the house to write all of their thoughts down in a spiral notebook, saying that he does it all the time.

We are then shown the Therapist's notebook, the first page of which contains only numbers, messily strewn throughout the lines of the page. The second page contains more numbers, along with some symbols including happy and sad smiley faces.

The Reptilian Therapist talks for a while about how your thoughts are liked to your quality of life and mood, stating that he doesn't have a mood.

He then goes on to say that every day we all make a choice, a choice of whether we look up at the sky or down at the ground. He states that he personally doesn't see the appeal of either.

He tells people to think of themselves as alarm clocks, or music that's about to stop. Then he tells them not to be like "this guy".

The scene then changes to an interview with an odd-looking plastic creature.

Reptilian Therapist: So why don't you tell me more about your life? What's been bothering you?
Bio-mechanical Head: I am a bio-mechanical head on a stick.
Reptilian Therapist: Well that's very existential, what do you want me to do about that?
Bio-mechanical Head: My suffering is unparalleled. Every day is a day I wish for death.
Reptilian Therapist: Wow, that's a lot of days. Every day? Consecutively?
Bio-mechanical Head: But as an immortal being I cannot die. I will never die.
Reptilian Therapist: Well when you think about it, we're all a little immortal aren't we?
Bio-mechanical Head: This is a waste of time.
Reptilian Therapist: That's a pretty ridiculous sentence for an immortal being.
Bio-mechanical Head: I'm leaving.
The camera then cuts to the Reptilian Therapist alone in the dark, saying he had a very productive day and that he got to experience a lot of emotions. The video then ends.

Characters Edit